The Strawberry Picking Vigilante - watch out!

The pick your own flowers field, with the pick your own strawberries in the distance.
(You can see them out there, hunched over, all the strawberry lovers!)

I don't know what they put in the water or the soil here - probably green, yummy goodness - but I can't wait for it to stop raining (jeez don't look at this without a Prozac) so that I can get out there and pick some more delectable, fresh from the 'pick your own field' strawberries.

Don't the weather Gods know that the strawberry season only goes until July 1st and that those delicious jewels aren't going to pick themselves! God, I need more! They're just soo... heavenly.

The other day I went out to pick some and finally was set straight about the proper method for strawberry picking.

Uh, yes, the Swiss even have rules, even a procedure, for this simple summer pleasure.

Let me set the record straight. You're supposed to stick to one row, pick all the ripe berries in that row, small or large (!), pick them with the hull (green stem thing) on (this also lengthens their shelf life!) and also pick the ones that are about to go off and put them on the path (for some small gnome to pick up later, no doubt). But if you do nothing else, stick to ONE row, ok!?

Needless to say, translation or not, I CANNOT abide to this. Are you seriously telling me that if I see the strawberry to end all strawberry picking events, the mack-daddy of luscious ripeness, with that perfect strawberry curve in the next row... just the one over... I can't pick it?!

Get out of town. That's not happening.

So watch out! It's official. I'm the Strawberry Picking Vigilante.

(Funny story below, don't go away just yet - you'll want to read on! Trust me!)

Look at that patch of red goodness, just in the next row.
Don't tell me you're not going to hop over there and get it... oooooooooh noooooooooooo!

While I was running amongst the rows, making my own little path through the deliciousness, I came across this Nanna that was obviously doing a bit of Nanna Strawberry Vigilante as well. While I can't stick to one row, I have to admit there is one thing I cannot bring myself to do while a pickin' the yumminess.

I simply can't eat them. Not even one. Not on the field.

I know! I know! Everyone does. Just one little one may fall into your mouth, the basket is heavy, they're so delicious. I know... it's ok! Hush now you strawberry sinner - you're not going to go to strawberry hell. But for some reason, I can't do it. I have to wait until I pay for the strawberries. It's not like I'm worried about being thrown into jail and risking my Swiss permit or being caught out (probably a good reason not to though anyway...) - everyone out there is doing it! I see you. I know who you are. But I... I just can't.

Anyway, this Vigilante Nanna was out there in her moo moo. I think she was wearing an apron but that might have just been my imagination. My dad would have called her the 'Mayor of Urdorf' but that's another story. And boy if she wasn't doing one of these... 'One for you, my little basket... one for me....Mmmmmm....'

And I caught her out of the corner of my eye, red handed, literally, and then all of a sudden, she bent over to grab another gorgeous, plump red fruit and....

"Bpppppppppppppppppp...." out popped the loudest FART....

Remember, this is in the middle of a quiet, rural area, in the middle of a field. It echoed off the Giant Strawberry Man and the Swiss houses and the trees... it was unconcealed. And unmistakable...

And bless their Swiss souls, no one, absolutely not a soul took any notice. I know because I was checking out the scene, waiting, pleading with my eyes, saying , 'pleeease, someone, anyone...look at me so we can lock eyes and share this moment...'

But there was no one... what a great country.

Now if only it would stop raining so I could get back out there.

Until then, here are some strawberries for your dreams.

This is exactly what I'm talking about. Come to Mama.
...It's ok. Don't be scared. I'll be gentle.

Baby strawberries. Just wee ones. Aren't they cute?

Look at this little family of berries. So cute.

I have a soft spot in my heart for the green ones, so eager, so close to their potential.
I'll be back for you my precious. (My goodness, I am scaring myself right now.)

The strawberry field is located here, in the fields near the parking lot across from Migros in Urdorf.

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